My first story published in Woman's Era

Title:
Life again

Since last evening, Kapil has been acting strange. His usual silence has gone, been talking on and on. He has shared anecdotes of his office, colleagues even of college days which if not shocking is actually surprising.

Arpita is confused. First it took her six months to adjust with a husband whose preferred means of answering was monosyllables, ‘’yes’’, ‘’no’’, “thanks”, ‘’hmm’’, ‘’lets see’’, ‘’why not’’…maybe, fair enough, sure were others in the series.

And suddenly after 6 months, it’s like sleeping with a stranger. Yuck!

“You know Pits,” there he goes again thought Arpita as Kapil sauntered in the kitchen with the newspaper in his hand, ‘’lets’ bunk office today.” He said it very casually but because he said it, the work horse, Arpita almost choked on her coffee.

Within next two hours they were on the road zipping towards Jaipur, while she instructed her assistant about the store and certain priority orders, he just sent a simple message to his boss.

The road was smooth, weather was near perfect and the mood was amusing, all of them together had crafted a happy journey. Arpita was lost in her thoughts, going over the last six months of her married life which was also the first six months of her married life. Kapil has always been the thorough gentleman. Polite, but not friendly, articulate bit not talkative, well mannered but not warm. Caring but not loving. Their nights had intimate moments and passionate snatches which always ended abruptly. As if those moments were not a deliberate endeavour to complete a relationship but hasty attempts to achieve normalcy when it was least there.

Her in –laws preferred to return to Allahabad so within a fortnight of her marriage, she was the mistress of the huge deluxe apartment in the posh DLF Phase IV, Gurgaon. Initially she tried to bestow more attention to Kapil and their home and expected a deluge of love and camaraderie in return. When the reciprocation remained a trickle, she went back to her first love, Maya, her studio. She was an expert in jewellery designing and had won numerous awards for the same.
Maya kept her going.
“Am hungry, Pits, wake up” Kapil snapped his fingers in front of her; “You are lost, where?” His amused look brought a smile on her face and she replied, “let’s stop somewhere to eat.” “Yeah but am not liking any of the dhabas we are passing by, but then I am famished too.”

They finally stopped at a small dhaba. The mud floor was sprinkled with water, the sweet fragrance of jasmine welcomed them and the spotlessly clean seating arrangement looked so inviting. The man at the counter welcomed them with a namaste and a friendly smile. Kapil was a tea lover, the stronger the better. Arpita’s relied on green tea but dhaba chai was always welcome.

Adjacent t the dhaba was a green field full of mustard crop. It looked beautiful. They requested their teas and pakodas to be served at the small patch of grass near the field. The small grassy carpet under a shady tree looked as if it was designed by nature for them. Sipping hot and sweet ginger tea, seated under the shade, with bites of oily and spicy pakodas is any fitness freaks’ nightmare but today was different.

“What do you think Pits, why I am behaving so differently? You must be surprised but then you are so patient. Not one question. Or are you too hurt to even bother me with any question.” The way he looked at her dried her throat. His voice sounded heavy with an emotion that she found so difficult to accept. Guilt.

He questioned again, “Don’t you want to ask me anything.” The pleading in his voice was dropping from his eyes. His steady stare made Arpita uncomfortable, ashamed and naked as if she was with a total stranger.

He turned away. The highway was visible from there but they will not be seen from the roads. He took another bite off a pakoda. After taking a long sip, he started slowly, “I loved Kanchan a lot.” Arpita let an I-thought-so smile faintly escape from her and shook her head. “We dreamt and planned for a life together. She was very extrovert, exceptionally talented and unquestionably ambitious. The only thing she lacked was beauty but all her other attributes added an aura to her plain looks and opened all doors for her.”

“And then I saw you at Anshul’s wedding. My eyes followed you the entire evening.” For the first time since yesterday, Arpita was shocked really shocked. Kapil had seen her before their first meeting as arranged by their families. Now she was all ears!

“I watched you in admiration. The more I wanted to turn away thinking of Kanchan, the more you pulled me back. You are definitely better looking but appearances never my priority. It was everything about you. Then Buaji spotted me looking at you. She told me everything about you and your family. How your mother single handedly brought you up. How you worked your way to college and started working young.”

“That’s why I was surprised to know your bua asking to meet Ma. After all divorced women are outcastes and their kids are treated similarly,” blurted out Arpita.

“My parents and I do not possess such disgusting mentality.’’ Kapil reached out and took Arpita’s hands in his and squeezed it firmly. “What did you say to Kanchan, how did she reacted? It was unfair to her.”

Kapil let out a deep sigh. “I went over it for a week before speaking to her. For once she was speechless. While I was fumbling and fretting, trying my best to appear normal and making a complete mess of it, she got up, hugged me and left. Without saying a word. I knew she was running away so that I don’t see her crying. The next day she left Delhi. And till yesterday I was cursing myself for hurting her so monstrously.

“Till yesterday?”

“Yeah, the seminar I was at, even Kanchan was attending the same. I saw her and stayed rooted to the spot. She saw me, waved at me and rushed to meet me. There was no animosity, no accusation, no bitterness at all. She is currently the MD of a Singaporean IT company. Still unmarried but immensely successful. She took me out for lunch and over there accepted that my decision was not wrong.” Kapil waited for few seconds and then continued, “I feel she could not say it to me that my decision released her and helped her in flying higher.”

“Then I realized that my feelings of guilt although not baseless were not required. I realized Kanchan was doing fine but my wife was not.” Kapil took Arpita’s both hands in his and softly murmured, “And so here I am with the love of my life.”

Arpita smiled through her tears, “let’s have another cup”

©Copyrights to this story rests with Antara Banerjee. 2010